Today is the day when some people will regard as just an additional holiday, and others as a sacred day just because it's another Christ-related commemoration,

But is this Love which made Him gave his everything sufficient only with a day or a few other days of commemoration and rememberance?

Just my humble 2 cents, but I feel that "We are the reason" should be a popular song everyday of those who know Him, and not just during these days where it might seem appropriate to post the song to Facebook. The lyrics should echo throughout our days, just as His words echo through eternity.

However, one thing good about days like these is that it rings a message to hearts which have gone too far away into their little own capsule of work, studies, relationships, family affairs, etc.....It can help to knock some reality of eternity (which is what really matters) and of that Grace and Love that comforts, that heals and eases.

It is a day when you'll remember to say a little Thank You to Him before you sleep, when other nights all He can hear are your snores instead of a little conversation with him.

For me, it's a day when I remember what it's like to be emptied of tons and tons of burden when I chose to lift my thoughts to Him instead of hurling myself further down the bottomless pit of 'life issues'

When everything in life seem so wrong, it's comforting to know at least there's 1 thing which I made right...To know Him, is the only decision that I've never had the slightest regret

Regrets, I have a few....

The lines from Frank Sinatra's My Way reminded me of the erroneous, regrettable decisions that I've made..and they are not a few, but many

A wrong purchase, a wrong relationship, a wrong education, a wrong career...

Or sometimes they can seem right, and sometimes wrong...

So the conclusion is, there is never a perfect decision I've made

Except for accepting Him into my life...

For He's made me realize another fact of life,

Surrendering completely all my regrets, all unrepairable errors to Him,

Looking up to the Light above,  everything is below seems dim in comparison

And realizing He has the power to make the wrong, right again..

Who else can I plead except to Him?

For the benefit of my readers or potential readers, I have decided to resurrect to this long dead corner of personal expression to share an article..an article that is neither purely self-help, or religious, it is a practical guide on how to selflessly remove the coldness and bitterness in your heart, if any and to live life as how it shoulf be..it is an honest sharing of someone who is trying to love like Jesus, yet without being religious, dogmatic or doctrinal.....so he who has ears, let him hear...

By Peter Ng

AWAKENING THE POWER WITHIN YOU

(Enjoy Your Everyday Selfless Love Life)

Self-Development and Inspirational series …

“Love does not go around talking about itself all the time, constantly exaggerating and embellishing the facts to make it look more important in the sight of others.”  Apostle Paul

Even as I write, my thoughts have turned to an individual who fits this description perfectly. If you know anyone like this, you probably thinking of that person as well, because people like this are such an annoyance that it is hard to ignore or forget them.

Regarding the person I am thinking of, all my friends and his co-workers tried to avoid meeting him at all times, because we know that the moment he got hold of us, he is going to start talking endlessly about himself, his projects, his ideas, and his accomplishments. He boasts to such extreme degree that it is outright obnoxious.

Coming from a terrible, insecure foundation in his own life, this person somehow feels he must stretch the truth to a ridiculous extreme and brag about his own accomplishments. His total lack of concern for others and his complete preoccupation with himself has become offensive and disgusting to nearly everyone who knows him.

Often people exaggerate and boast endlessly because they have a hidden agenda they want to protect, or they are hoping to make the kind of impression that might give them special status or recognition in the eyes of others, or they may feel driven to prove their worth. Regardless of the reason that people boast about themselves, this kind of behavior does not demonstrate the way that selfless love behaves!

Selfless love is so strong, so sure, and so confident that it does not need to speak of itself or its accomplishments, even if those accomplishments are greater than anyone else’s. Real selfless love would never flaunt, instead it want to focus on the accomplishments of others in order to build them up and make them feel more valuable and secure.  Selfless love is not a self-focused love – it is focused on giving of itself in order to meet other people’s needs. Selfless love is not thoughtless or insensitive to others, but always respectful and forgiving.

Selfless love does not deliberately engage in actions or speak words that are sharp that causes ugly or violent reactions from others. It takes no account of others unintentional wrongdoings. An easily offended person keeps detailed records of every wrong that was ever done to him.  This person painstakingly stores in his memory all the mistakes, faults, grievances, disappointments, failures, or perceived wrongdoings that someone has made against him.  Rather than forgive and let it go, the offended person has carefully maintained records of each action done to him that he deemed unjust or unfair.

So if you are tempted to keep mental records of wrongs someone has done against you, remember life happens – people hurt us, and sometimes we hurt other people. Thus, if we want others to forgive us for our unintentional mistakes or failures, we too must extend the same grace of forgiveness to others who may have unintentional hurt us.

Is there anyone you are holding hostage in your mind because of what you deemed to be an inappropriate action taken against you? If that person did wrong, it is right for you to confront him in love. But once you have dealt with the matter, you need to release the offense and let it go.  If you have a hard time releasing people from their past wrongs, it is a sign that you need selfless love to be released in your life. The fact that you are flipping back to that old record of wrongs again and again – bringing up past grievances that should have been forgiven means you are not in selfless love! Throw that diary away! Make it your own most important matter of business to get your heart right first and then with others.

“You are responsible not only for what you do say but also for what you do not say.” Martin Luther

Selfless love:

• Does not manipulate situations or scheme and devise methods that will twist situations to its own advantage;
• Does not deliberately engage in actions or speak words that are so sharp and hurtful, that cause an ugly or violent reactions from others;
• Does not deliberately keep records of wrongs or past mistakes;
• Selfless love moves you to do things for other people’s life.

Weathering Selfless Love

There were probably comes a time when we said, “I’m tired.  No one appreciates me or says thank you for what I have done! I give and give, and yet I am treated like a doormat, being walked all over! I just wish someone would occasionally show some appreciation.”

We all want to be appreciated.  I like to be thanked when I work hard, just as we all do.  If we did all just treat each other with respect and good manners, it would solve a world of problems, and remedy a lot of hurt feelings. But people are people, and sometimes they forget to say thank you, or even taking you for granted.  It is absolutely true that people should be more thoughtful and appreciative. But the bottom line is this: Ultimately, it does not matter whether or not those around us ever show us appreciation for what we do; we do because we are committed to love doing it. Lack of appreciation must not affect our determination to move forward in our lives and do a difference for people around us, especially for people whom we really loved.

We are the overseer of our own heart.  It is our responsibility to guide, direct, and give oversight to what goes on inside your emotions and thinking. You alone are responsible for what you allow to develop inside your head and heart.  You are personally responsible for both the good and the bad that occurs within your thought life.

We are often tempted to blame our bad attitude, bitterness, resentments, or feelings of unforgiveness on other people. But the truth is we are responsible for our own emotions and reactions! If a person does something that has the potential to offend us, you are held responsible for whether or not that offense takes root in our minds.  We can choose to let it sink into our souls and take root, or we can opt to let it bypass us.  We are not able to control what others do or say to us, but we are able to control what goes on inside us.  You are the one who decides whether or not that wrong settles down into your soul and starts to take root in your emotions. Pride is the enemy of love.

Anger is an emotion that comes and goes.  You do have the right to be angry, but you do not want to remain angry all the time. You choose whether or not irritation turns into anger, anger into wrath, wrath into bitterness, bitterness into resentment, and resentment into unforgiveness.  You choose whether these foul attitudes and emotions take up residency in your heart or are booted out of your mind.

You may be tempted with an annoying, hounding thought about the person who offended you, at that moment you have a choice whether or not to let it sink in.  You are the only one who can give permission for these attitudes to make their habitation in your mind and emotions.  If you are filled with bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness, you permitted that ugly thought to sow that destructive seed in your heart and then you permitted it to grow. Remember, you are the overseer of your own heart!

Stop making excuses for the rotten attitudes that fill your thoughts about people who supposedly did you wrong.  Even if they really did commit a wrong against you, was it necessary or beneficial to permit the ugly thought to fill you with putrid feelings of bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness? Move on with your life!  What good does it do to let the offense fester inside you until you are inwardly eaten up by its bad memory?

As long as you blame everyone else for the bitterness that rages inside, you will never walk free.  The only way you can get over the offense and walk free of your emotional prison is by accepting responsibility for your own heart.

If we constantly complain about our circumstance, we remain in the circumstances that we are complaining about.  That is where we are putting our energy, so we get more of it.  Complain about your boss, she will appear meaner. Complain about your job and it will get worse. Complain about your spouse, you can expect more quarrels. If you constantly complain about yourself, you can expect more disappointments.

What are you complaining constantly in your own life? Look at the bad fruits it is bringing to you.

Try this better approach – find something to praise.  In every situation and every person there is something good to focus on.  Find it and praise it. Remind yourself of it every time you are tempted to complain.  The first thing you will notice is how much better you feel.  After all, how do you feel complaining? You need to love yourself (not being in love), to want to stop talking and thinking of all things bad.  Talking and thinking of someone that hurts you, or a project that is irritating you, steals your personal peace, love, and joy.  It drains you of all your energy that you cannot concentrate to do good, blossom the relationships, or clarity of the mind to do a better job.

Since you are the overseer of your own heart, what are you going to do about the negative and wrong attitudes that are trying to take root in your soul right now? Are you going to let them fester, take root, and begin to produce bad fruits in your life? Or are you going to take the initiative to rip out those attitudes by the root so your heart can stay free?

It is your heart, and you are the only one with the authority to decide what does and does not go on inside of you. In light of this truth, what are you going to do about the situation you are facing right now? Forgive and let it go, or hang on to that grievance and let it grow?  The choice is yours!

“If you really want to free yourself from all sorts of problems, then emotionally you must release other people to find their good in their own way.” Catherine Ponder

One of the ways that some people really mess up their lives is by getting too entangled in the lives of others.  There has to be a clear line between assistance and entanglement.  If you in any way feel like the other person’s issues are becoming your own, or that you are responsible for them, you have crossed the line!  This happens sometimes with parents and adult children, when the parent-child relationship continues long after it should have matured.

There is a major difference between disciplining-love and spoiling-love. Real love comes with discipline, corrections, and guidance.  When people are lost, what they need is not instructions but directions. Selfless love does not continual provide every resources to the point of making the person seeking more attention, being lazy, and becoming too dependence.

Personally, I have a process of assisting people. I will listen to their underlying issues or deeply concerned worries, work with the person to seek the preferred solutions or direction he or she preferred to move into, and see if they do them.  If that person would not implement his or her plan-of-actions, even after continuous reminders, that ends the advice.  Why waste your valuable time with someone who refuses to change their own lives and would not even make a simple commitment to make their own lives better?  This approach can work in any relationship.  Why would you continue to be involved with somebody’s drama when they always have an excuse for not taking action?  Release them to go work it out without you, may be they needed to go through some challenges or to face the turmoil to want to make a positive change in their own lives.  It is best for you, and it is best for them.  Getting entangled in other people’s problems causes nothing but frustrations and disappoints. Getting into entanglements would frustrate us in our love walk, and may cause us to eventually avoiding walking in love with people.

How you relate to others, love others, and impact others is the most important question in your selfless love life.

We have the power to give the gift of love to others.  Let’s practice the three simple steps of selfless love to put our love walk back into our everyday life. Give PAT a try – Patience; Actions; Thoughts.

Patience – Love is not self-seeking, we must learn to put how others feels ahead of how we feel. We must always keep our temper in check and displaying stability in our moods and temperament is very important.  Many people in the world are explosive when things do not go their way.  We may not always feel patient, but we can still discipline ourselves to be patient.  I cannot do anything about how I feel sometimes, but I can control how I behave and response, so can you.

Recently, I was speaking in Philippines with another speaker; it was a tight-scheduled speaking engagement and was very hectic for both of us. Arriving at Singapore Changi’s airport, both of us were relieved to be home and for a well-deserved rest. The moment we walked out of the arrival gate, his wife was there to meet him, thus, we decided to go for a good dinner.  During the dinner, we were telling her how hectic the trip was, how tired both of us were, and how much we are looking forward to a good rest. Then she turned to her hubby and started telling him about a leak in the sink and asking him to fix it the moment he reached home. He was so unhappy that he stared at her telling her how insensitive she was, and the next thing I heard from her is the instructions on how to fix a leak and she will do it on her own. He tried to compose himself and told her that it is not an easy task to merely learn through explanation, and passed a remark saying, you cannot learn how to drive by merely reading a book or watching a DVD. The next thing I know was she flared up and said, “Fine! If you do not want to do it, I will just let it drip, after all, I am useless. I should have learnt to be more independent and need not relied on you.”

My friend excuse himself to go to the toilet, and I talked to her about patience. Though things may not always turn out the way we want, we must learn to put how others feel ahead of how we feel. When her hubby returned from the washroom, she looked at him, apologized for her bad timing to bring up the issue, and she will call the plumber to look at it tomorrow. He replied, “I went to the washroom to cool my head, and I guess you must be worried about it because I had been away for 5 days. I will check on it when we reached home, and if need be, we will call the plumber.”

We may not always feel patient, but we can still discipline ourselves to be patient.

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Action – Love takes more than mere words but action. One of the best actions is giving some of our personal time to the people whom we loved because it is a demonstration of love.  One of the best questions for you to reflect is, “What have you done for them lately?”  The question reflects how you are spending time with people you claimed you loved. Do you take the time to listen and understand their underlying needs and concerns; to do the things that they really wanted to do; or simply just held their hands to give them some assurance?

The best rationalizations I heard constantly for not being able to do things for people we loved are, “I really wanted to do (whatever), but forget.” “I have plan this weekend to bring you to …, but overslept.” “Actually I wanted to give you that surprise birthday gift, but no time to go and buy it, so here’s the money for you.” “I really wanted to buy something special for my loved one but don’t know what he really want?”  How can you not know, unless you have not been listening attentively to his needs whenever he is conversing with you? Are you too occupied with your own thoughts all the time? How can you committed to love someone but are unwilling to make the commitments to action? Do you only love with thinking-about-it action or mere words of love?

Thoughts – What we think about people not only affects them, it also affects the way we treat them when we are around them. If I think about how much I do not like someone and mentally go over all the faults I believe they have, when I see them I treat them according to the image I have formed in my mind.  There was one client whom I worked closely with but always failed to reply to my emails, last minute project rush, and lacking organizing skills. Each time, I will think of how much inconvenience he have caused, reasons why I have the right to dislike him, and I believe (true or otherwise) he is lazy, lacks commitment, irresponsible, etc.; it gives me justification to treat him coldly, even to the point of avoiding having too much conversation with him, and would give him very stern answers.

One day, I was asking myself why I am always so unhappy after meeting him. Then I realize it is my thoughts.  People are affected by our thoughts. We can help people with good, loving, and positive thoughts, but we can hurt them with evil, unloving, and negative thoughts.

I started to meditate on the strengths of the person, every good quality he have, every favor he have ever done, and any complimentary thing I can think of about his appearance. On another occasion I met him, and complimented him of his neat appearance, I saw him visibly relax. Also, I thanked him for the patience that he has being putting up with me.  The next thing I know we ended working very well, and we are having friendly conversations. Though he still has last minute requests, and learning to be much more organized, but one thing for sure, by mediating on good, loving, positive thoughts, there are less stress and anxiety in our dealings, and enhance a better working relationship.

Walking in Selfless Love

Do not misunderstand, selfless love is not blind.  Indeed, it sees the good, the bad, and the ugly. But because selfless love is so filled with faith, it pushes the disconcerting, disturbing, negative realities out of the way, to allow us to get back into love.  This does not mean ignoring problems or challenges, it’s just making choices to see beyond the problems and conflicts, to strain forward to see the highest potential that resides in every person.

There are many troubled people in this world, thus, today I want to encourage you to open your heart and do the right thing by determining to learn to operate in selfless love and enjoying your everyday love-walk life!

Your Success is Ultimately My Rewards

Signing off with love –

Your Favorite Author & Speaker – Peter Ng

I believe in selfless love, selfless faith,

I believe in loving and blessing my enemies,

I believe in LIVING rather than merely-existing,

I believe joy comes from unclenching the fists

I believe Good is an extra 'O' from God,

I believe Evil is derived from the 'devil' within us and around us

I believe that true belief is practicing instead of 'memorizing'

I believe everyone is equal in His eyes for they're all His creation

I believe His hands are not too short to save

I believe if you call, He will answer

I believe He is all around

I believe He will hold my hand even if they stone me, insult me, shun or reject me

I believe He has blessed me with joy but sometimes I chose disappointment

I believe that even if you do not call me friend, He still will

I believe that all the above is not easy believin,

And even if I fall, stumble and struggle

The journey is indeed worthwhile.

Being out and about for a few days,

Eyes opened to colors I've never seen before

Or perhaps I've seen but chose to ignore

Ignorance is bliss, mind your own business,

Or so I thought..

I've sat near a bunch of youngsters,

Youths talking youthful things

From campus subjects to Japanese girls

I was reminded of my own 'glorious' days back then

When I glorified my studies, my crush, my boyfriends

I thought back of some charging youths I knew back then, 

Fervent servants who invited me to join their party

But no, I said..I just don't have the time

I just don't feel like it

Church was boring, time-consuming and draining

And I rejected the Christian label

Led a life of excuses and lies,

Shopping, movies, studies, 

Pleasure, entertainment, leisure

Tasted forbidden fruits,

Wanting more, craving more

But the more I get,

The more of myself I lose

In the end,

Left with nothing except the label of a 'normal' youth,

or one of those 'kids' when people always start with "Kids nowadays..."

And now many many years later,

Even though I'm slowly finding my way back

Regrets still hit me sometimes

If only I could join the 'extraordinary' party of those days,

To be shaped by God, instead of by society

To just leave my nets that entangle myself to destruction

And follow Him to be fishers of men?

But yet I know,

His still, small voice,

Turning those regrets to reassurance,

Working everything in His good perfect will

And most importantly,

The prodigal son has returned.