Etchings on the sand - from a conservative Christian living in a contemporary world

Monday, 06 July 2009

  • The faze in the maze

    Where can we turn to,
    We, the generation lost in wonder..
    I stand dazed in a maze......
    Groping my way through the haze,
    Clouded by more craze and laze,

    I gazed, fazed yet amazed,
    I wonder if my loving loved ones felt the same,
    Ignorant or gullible, which category are they?

    God smiled, and God shook His head....
    At His fallen children...
    And we accused Him as the Runaway One,
    Hiding himself, crossing His Arms,
    Mercilessly saying, Ah-Ha, serve you right!

    And so we continue our collision into each other in the dark,
    We continue our journey in the gray world,
    of no Past, Presents or Tomorrows,
    The dark is our sweet escape
    The light is the blinding truth

    Destiny has no value,
    Fate has no power,
    Dreams have no answer

    I crave for the Black & White days,
    Without color, yet is it the reality back then more colorful than today?
    Ironical, reality has turned primitive now,
    Civilization is a foreign word
    Morale is nothing but disguise

    I crave to join that band,
    That band that really marches in perfect harmony,
    That band that braved through the light,
    And now completely at ease and peace,
    With the Commander..
    I thank Him to know that such band still exists

    Each day, I am reminded of that,
    Despite my daily turmoils in the fazing maze,
    Through every little corner, every little space,
    He managed to seep His way into my heart....
    He never really hid himself, He never really runaway,
    It was I really did all that.....
    Thank You and I love You

Monday, 29 June 2009

  • I was listening to Dion's Teenager in Love

    submerging in the luxury from my new headphones......the crystal clear lyrics relived some past images in my head, like playing back some of the chapters in my own story, though its pretty clear that I'm way past my teens...haha

    yet, the lyrics still apply, and yes, this song was sung half a century ago..

    seems like some stories are really meant to be timeless, like those about Mars and Venus feuds...
    a roller-coaster ride that spans for eternity.......

    Each time we have a quarrel
    It almost breaks my heart
    'Cause I'm so afraid that we will have to part

    One day I feel so happy
    Next day I feel so sad
    I guess I'll learn to take the good with the bad

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

  • Quote of the Day

    It's been a while since I posted one-liners...

    but my mind won't rest until I get this out:

    "The hardest challenge in any love relationships, be it towards God or His people is not the sacrifices, conflicts or persecutions involved, but to love without hypocrisy"

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

  • Simply, L....

    Nauseated and topsy-turvy from the rough and bumpy ride recently, but was comforted and reassured from one of most loved passages from His Book of Love:

    13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but I do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 13:2 And if I have prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 13:3 If I give away everything I own, and if I give over my body in order to boast,but do not have love, I receive no benefit.

    13:4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up. 13:5 It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered or resentful. 13:6 It is not glad about injustice, but rejoices in the truth. 13:7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

    Indeed, the essence of humanity is summed up in one, simple word. No religious code, theories books, self-help tricks can lead to a so-called abundant life without it.Yet as simple as it is, it is one of the misunderstood things on earth. Well, if its mystery is perfectly revealed, then Earth will already be Heaven. But there's a time for everything, a reason for anything n everything. So until the time comes, when the grand Mystery is completely solved, I believe the right way to live is not to ponder upon the solution, but rather to embrace the gift that is blessed upon our souls right from the moment we open our eyes for the first time....the gift of love, and the right to use the gift

    "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:14"

Sunday, 03 May 2009

  • Go home

    O wandering soul,

    it's time to fly back to your nest

    Your freedom is not for the darkness,

    Instead, use your wings to lift yourself ...

    to His covering up there,

    Far, far away from the clutches that deceive below....

    But if you did succumb,

    Even if you are fully aware of the forbidden areas...

    that your itchy heart is wandering to,

    Even if you are scarred with bruises, sores and cuts

    Do not forget your wings,

    Which will never be broken,

    As long as today is still here,

    Use them to lift yourself up back to your Refuge

    Even if the journey up takes much more effort...

    than your free-fall to below.....

    Once you're back to safety,

    You will hear the ever, sweet reassuring voice.....

    Echoing to you over and over again,

    "Everything's alright now"

    And while you're all comfy and cosy up there,

    Be careful not to sleep when the Father feeds you,

    Fill yourself with what He provides,

    Be ever so filled, that you would not even think of wandering away,

    Ever again....

    For if not, you will again be hypnotized

    By the deadly songs of below,

    The never-ceasing melodies to enchant and entice you

    To make you their permanent neighbour...

    If you allow, over and over again...

    For the cycle to repeat itself over and over again...

    You, yourself have disabled your precious wings.....

    What use of them given to you,

    If you do not use them to fly,

    but rather to plunge?


  • Mirror, mirror on the wall....what's the ugliest thing in my heart?

    I finally managed to have a breather this long weekend from a so-called tight schedule in my social life....

    Yes, let me repeat...my 'social life'......for those who've known me all these while as the lone nomad who seeks solace from solitary confinement, yes, let me assure you, what you've just heard is the truth.....

    One birthday after another, one gathering after another, one appointment after another...

    A seemingly endless chain...

    So this weekend, I'm back to my old days........

    And I'm truly thankful that I have more time to see myself in the mirror again for a 'soul-analysis' which I've not done for quite some time.......

    The major results of this time around is His answer to me from my questions: Why am I stagnant? Why is my passion and zeal for Him stagnant? Why is my experience with Him stagnant? Why are the things I wanted to do for Him stagnant? Why are my dreams stagnant?

    And truly, when I looked in the mirror hard enough, I see nothing, nothing of 'love for Him' or the sort, but rather love for the world and its attention......love for fame, love for recognition......

    Yes, I want to write......I said I want to use my talents to glorify Him, but analyzing myself again to the deepest level, "Is that my main reason?"

    Do I post in this blog to share my challenges and thoughts, to inspire others to seek, serve and follow Him? or do I aspire instead to garner praises for my writing talents, radical and so-called holy thoughts?

    Yes, I want to make a life-changing movie, or publish a life-changing book, but really, the Lord knows my deepest intentions. Do I long to make the world smile or Him smile?

    When someone turns to the Lord, do I smile because it's due to my contribution or just because, I love that someone enough to rejoice with that person when he or she is saved?

    Lord, forgive me of my pride......I'm nothing, nothing without You...

    If ever again, I extol myself higher than You, shoving You aside as I take the General's position, bring me down again, and make me the lowliest soldier if You think I should be.....

    Just don't drive me out from your army and as long as I can at Your service...and Yours alone.....

    There's another answer to my questions just now of my stagnation...but that will be revealed in the next post......


Saturday, 02 May 2009

  • Labour Day break?

    1st May marks a day of rest for all who've had hard toilsome, days...

    Seems like the wireless in MCd decided to take a break too...

    Thankfully, the guy next to me also as 'desperate' as me...

    I asked, "Perhaps, we can seek help from the staff?"

    All it takes is just a request, and voila...everything is back to normal

    Sometimes, all it takes, it just one smile, one simple request......

    We're the ones who over-complicates things in our minds.....

    Whenever we do that, we refrain from trying,

    We became reluctant to make that phone call, to send that e-mail, to just say, "Hello, can you please...."

    And for the first time, Xanga was down too.....

    Regardless, when things doesn't go according to the order of this OCD-sufferer, besides from the initial frown, I will look back and reflect, "Have I gone too far, too far in moulding my routine and the world around me, to be just the way I want them to be?"

    Too far to the extent that it took His place in my heart?

    And as I thought of that, my heart will lift a new song of praise and thankfulness to Him

    For He always has a way to pull my wandering soul,

    Back to where it should belong...

Thursday, 30 April 2009

  • Those things that sap and trap

    It's so easy to fall into the trap...

    The trap that uses up my hands to click on some idiotic Facebook quizzes

    The trap that uses up my mind wallowing in the guilt of having eaten the chocolate brownie I shouldn't have,

    The trap that uses up my eyes to entertain myself with model wannabes and middle-aged housewives bitch-fighting on the local TV channels, when I should be getting some quality eye-shut that time

    The trap that uses up my mouth, stirring up dissensions here and there, adding some dry wood to spark some fire here and there....

    The trap that uses my legs, walking to places that every loved one will ask me to steer clear off,

    The trap that uses my emotions, doubting over some impulsive decision and the consequence and aftermath it will bring

    The trap that uses up my self-control to lead myself to instead of away from gratifications of my impure desires,

    The trap that uses my soul to love the world more than Him....

    This is thus, the confession of a trapped soul

    A trapped soul that desires nothing more to repent, get back on track and do what she is supposed to do with her life, instead of wasting it to yet another trap...


  • A song to myself


    Spent 24 years of my life,

    Wondering who I really am,

    I took the answers that the world, the society, feeds me with

    I am but a product of people's expectations..........

    Where is my true self?

    That carefree self that fearlessly said to itself, "I am who I am"

    I need it, dear Lord, I need it......

    Tired and torn from conforming...

    I want to learn with the mind of that true self,

    I want to wear as what the true self loves,

    I want to talk as what that true self will talk

    I want to sing songs that the true self really loves,

    I want to love with that true heart

    Again....

    Enough hiding, enough faking, enough lies.......

    People-pleaser, Great Pretender, out you go

    Me, the real me...take your place...

    I don't expect you to understand, I don't expect you to accept,

    I just don't want your stoning, your persecution, your condemnation,

    Stop stealing my soul


    "Lord, teach me to be in the World but not of the World......."





Wednesday, 29 April 2009

  • Visit nekorinchan's Xanga Site
    • Name: A learner, believer
    • Country: Malaysia
    • Metro: Ipoh
    • Birthday: 7/24/1984
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 5/13/2005

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